Installed battery backwards

[CherryBomb 34]

Dear Car Enthusiasts and Experts,

I'm sure this will get some laughs and rolling eyes. I did do a search to see if the answer was already posted, but it seems no one else is as stupid as me.

I've been driving my SUV and let the 86 sit for over a month. Despite having a relatively new battery, the car wouldn't start, even when I jumped it. I seem to go through batteries, but that's a separate topic.

I phoned Halford's call out service (I know, Halford's sucks, but I figured battery installation is pretty basic and they couldn't screw it up. Instead, I'M the one who screwed it up haha). But apparently, if you don't buy a battery, they can't come out. I guess they don't do mobile diagnostics. I didn't phone AA because they wanted £200 for a new battery installation, which seemed steep, because I'm a member. So, I figured I'd do it myself. I used to work on my cars when I was younger and I've changed batteries before (before I became senile).

I checked around which is the correct battery for my car. Several sources said Bosch S4 024, so I ordered that one on Amazon, being the best price and having excellent ratings. A box popped up on Amazon confirming that this battery IS compatible with my car.

So I installed it and SPARK, BANG, POP! Yes, turns out the polarity on the new battery is reversed. I'm freaking out, of course, assuming I've fried my electricals. There seems to be some sort of fuse thingy on the positive connecter, and that had a little explosion inside. Both of my battery cables are black. There is no red one/black one, like on every other car I've ever owned, and it didn't even occur to me check which one was grounded. And no, I didn't pay attention to how the old one came out. I assumed that because several sources said this was the correct battery, it was correct, and I just popped it in there. I'm the dumbass. And, TRUST ME, lesson learned. The cables aren't long enough to just turn the battery around, so I had to get another battery.

Rather than order another from the internet, I headed over to Euro Car Parts. He looks up my car, and brings out a battery with reversed terminals. I was a bit confused, because I told him the negative terminal needs to be on the right. So he goes and gets another battery, and, again, the terminals are reversed. WTF? This time I got very assertive and then he came back with the terminals on the correct sides. (Why the hell do auto parts stores have employees who know nothing about cars? Again, that's a separate topic). Of course, this battery was way more expensive, at £116. It's a Varta. Anybody heard of that??

I installed this second new battery and, yeehah!, we have power! The dash lights are flashing and the alarm is on (keeps coming on, in fact). However, the car won't start. I assume a fuse is blown, but I don't know which one(s). I bought a 12v fuse tester, but either I can't get a good connection on the chassis or all the fuses I tested are blown.

I read online that when a battery is put in backwards, it can blow the main fuse. But which fuse is the main fuse? I took the fuse lid in with me (it has the fuse diagramme on it) to Halford's and to Euro Car Parts, and nobody in either store had any idea (again, is it just me, or are the clerks morons?). I used to work in an auto parts store in my early 20's, and those guys were the bomb. They knew everything. Anyway, I digress.

So, bottom line: Should I replace all the fuses, call AA, or tow it to a garage? If a garage, which one? lol. HELP!

Signed,

Dumb and desperate in east London

 

[will300 812]

50 minutes ago, CherryBomb said:

There seems to be some sort of fuse thingy on the positive connecter, and that had a little explosion inside. Both of my battery cables are black. There is no red one/black one, like on every other car

Have you replaced this yet?

Replacement can be sourced here: https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/275308960930

 

[CherryBomb 34]

40 minutes ago, will300 said:

Have you replaced this yet?

Replacement can be sourced here: https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/275308960930

 

No, I haven't. I didn't know if I needed to replace just the side bits or the whole connector. Now I know. Thank you! Very much appreciated!

[CherryBomb 34]

1 hour ago, will300 said:

Have you replaced this yet?

Replacement can be sourced here: https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/275308960930

 

By the way, another reason I didn't know which terminal was which is because when the AA replaced my battery last time, they lost or took my positive terminal cover. I have looked online and can't seem to find one for this car. Do you know of a place to get one? Thanks.

[will300 812]

Message this person: https://www.facebook.com/mareks.cekuls/

He breaks GT86's so might have one for sale.

As a cheaper alternative, buy some red electrical tape and wrap it round the positive cable. 

[Varelco 211]

Don't panic, fuses are there for protection and electrical discrimination should mean only the fuses closes to the fault will blow, this isn't always the case but you can methodically go through to make sure everything functions. Having a multimeter would be helpful to confirm power at various places along with continuity. 

[CherryBomb 34]

@will300'He breaks GT86's' hahahaha. Thank you for that. I will contact him. Red tape is a good idea. I've heard that the positive terminal should be covered for safety reasons because it can short out. I'm not sure how that would happen unless one absent-mindedly laid a wrench across the terminals or some piece of metal happened to fly under your bonnet and land on the terminals. But I'd like a cover, since that's how the car came. Thank you for your help!

[CherryBomb 34]

@Varelco That's reassuring. Thank you. I still haven't sorted this out because I had to go out of town to see family. I'm very nervous about electricals. I have an acquaintance who used to have a garage, so I think I'm going to see if I can get him to help me if I have any problems.